The holidays are just around the around the corner, and I'd like to take this opportunity to talk about the not-so-obvious meaning they hold for children. Meaning? What other meaning could there be besides their religious significance or the generosity of parents and grandparents who buy them gifts?

In my own family, holiday time was spent with my grandparents and that was as good as it ever got for me. Because my grandfather was my favorite person in the entire universe, just being with him was cause for celebration. Our long drive from New York (where I lived) to Philadelphia (where my grandparents lived) seemed interminable.

When we finalkly arrived, I'd run up the front steps of the green painted porch, with the snake plants all lined up in front of the rocking chairs, and ring the bell. As soon as my grandmother caught a glimpse of me, she'd squeal with delight, urging me to hurry in. Such a welcome. Such a warmth. I still remember the wonderful aromas of the holiday foods wafting through the house, and the hugs and the kisses, and the love I felt from everyone in the house–aunts, uncles, cousins, and, of course, my beloved grandfather.

What is this memory worth to me now? I turned 81 in November and I can still see (and savor) every detail of those holidays we celebrated together 75 years ago. Why has it lasted for so many years–my memory of being so warmly welcomed by my grandmother at the door, the precious moments with my grandfather, the delicious holiday of foods, the prayer and songs though I didn't understand the words? It's not just part of my history; it is part of who I am. I carry within me a sense of continuity and because I too celebrate the holidays, my grandsons also will have such memories.

Where many families follow religious traditions, other families create their own customs, such as Sunday breakfasts or walking together in the woods. Religious or not, these practices give us opportunities to bond with members of the family in special ways–ways that clking to the heart and mind for a lifetime. They create the memories that help us keep our connection to the family and its traditions.

And if this were not enough, customs and holidays do much more. They provide children with stability in an ever-changing, ever-challenging world–a world full of confusing contradictions, friends who live by different standards than their own, a society that fosters values that don't match the family's values, and a pendulum that swings from one moral extreme to the other. Holidays and family customs give children moments of security they can count on while the rest of the world moves in its crazy patchwork of opposites. It gives us all a safe harbor in a vast sea of uncertainty.

From my vantage point, holidays are more than rote or ritual. They are the stuff of nostalgia, that wonderful connection to the past, to our history, and to meanings. If we look at holidays from the perspective of family bonding and of creating memories for the future, then perhaps the toys and games we buy will take a back seat and during our days together, and patience and compassion and love will be in the driver's seat.

Maybe we will greet each other with my grandmother's sense of urgency as she rushed us through the door the quicker to hold us and kiss us. Whatever your tradition, I hope you enjoy it and each other I wish you laughter and live and I hope you treasure every minute. Happy Holidays to one and all. Won't you join me in my fervent hope for the coming year that there will be

Peace in every heart

and in every home

and in every nation.