Mothers and Daughters
Some mothers and daughters remain close all the days of their lives. Others don’t. Let’s see what lessons we can learn from both.
At four years old, Gracie thought her mother was a veritable goddess. At fourteen, a demon. How did that happen? At four, Gracie clopped around the house in Gloria’s high heels and hats, wanting to be just like her idol - Mommy. At fourteen, she was trying very hard to not only be different from Mommy, but different from everything Mommy stood for. While differentiation is a normal, developmental breaking-away to establish her own identity, how each girl goes about it depends on her relationship with her mother from the start.
April 2014 column Picky eater
I received an email from a reader who expressed her concern for her 6 year-old son whom she described as a "picky eater." She listed the only foods he wants and except for a spare amount of protein, his diet consisted of a healthy combination of fruits, berries, and carbs. With three other children eating without complaint, this boy posed a problem for this mom.
Watch out, America! Bullying in schools and in cyberspace has reached epidemic proportions. Will your child be next to bully or to be bullied? Here are the shocking facts I found on the sears.com/anti-bullying-statistics website:
Last month I reviewed Christine Fonseca's excellent book, "Quiet Kids: Help Your Introverted Child Succeed in an Extroverted World." In this column, I am following up with questions about the role of parents and the goal of parenting.
Review: Quiet Kids
I was asked to review Christine Fonseca's new book, Quiet Kids: Help Your Introverted Child Succeed in an Extroverted World and after reading just a few pages, I consider it a privilege to review it. This book is a must-read for every parent who wants to empower their introverted child reach their full potential. Just as important, Ms. Fonseca shows teachers how to help their introverted students succeed in the classroom. I hope this remarkably informative book will encourage parents, teachers, and leaders in business to end their lopsided preference for extroverts and give the introverts among us the acceptance and respect that every person has a right to expect.
QUOTES: The Best Wise and Witty Quotes about Children and Parenting
by MICHAEL JOSEPHSON on MARCH 23, 2012
My holiday gift to you is the following list of wise and worthwhile quotes about parenting with commentary by me (MK.)
When Life is Not Enough
At a recent rock concert in New York City, two twenty-year old attendees died and four others were hospitalized after ingesting "mollys," a renamed and remixed form of the drug ecstasy. They had heard this new drug with the innocent-sounding name would intensify their listening experience. More intense than the "vibe" they'd get from 100,000 fellow music enthusiasts? More intense than the thunderous, piercing music? More intense than the flashing, mind-blowing light show? Were they just trying to get the most out of life? Or is something missing in a person's life when good is not good enough?
We're off the hook
Rejoice, Parents, we are off the hook - (at least until another theory pops up.) According to recent research, children have more impact than their parents in shaping their siblings' personalities. So if your kids grow up blaming you for their problems, tell them it's all their brothers' or sisters' fault. Now does this mean it won't matter what we do? Of course not. Genetics, environment, the child's place in the hierarchy of the family, role models, learned behaviors, and each child's unique built-in sensitivities matter very much. But in the day-by day development of personality, siblings are a step ahead of all the other influences.
I read the obituaries. People my age read obituaries, not because we're morbid, but because we want to send condolences or attend the funerals and pay our respects to the families of our departed friends. But I read them also for the brief biographies, sometimes wistfully wishing I had known them in life.
Like Flying a Kite
“Raising children is like flying a kite. At the beginning you have complete control, building it just so, adjusting strings, smoothing wrinkles, carrying it close. A beautiful kite, perfect, yet unfulfilled: The whole point of a kite is to let it go, let it soar.
Technology: For better or worse
Have you noticed how many men, women, and children (some as young as 3 and 4) are talking on cell phones these days? It seems wherever and whenever we step into the world around us, the ubiquitous cell phone is there. And inside homes, family members have been observed talking on their cell phones at the dinner table. In fact, a father recently confessed that he had to resort to texting his daughter at the breakfast table to get her attention. So it is clear that cell phones have entered our lives and are here to stay – for better or worse.
The Terrific Twos
“I don't know what to do with my two-year old Jimmie; he's so stubborn I can't get him to do anything I want him to do, and I can’t get him to stop doing what I don't want him to do.”
When parents complain to me that their toddler is stubborn, I find myself cheering (silently) for the little kid because what Jimmie’s mom calls “stubborn,” I call self-assertive, and to my way of thinking, that's a good thing. Two-year-olds are not “terrible;” they are newly liberated from infancy and their declaration of independence begins with the word “no.” With proper handling, however, their “stubbornness” will morph into the positive qualities of tenacity, determination, steadfastness, willpower, and loyalty we want them to have. On the other hand, working against the child’s [early] assertiveness, using too much control, and insisting on obedience could turn a good characteristic into negative defiance or arbitrary stubbornness.